"The Worstest Day Ever!"

Ok, none of you are allowed to know this story. Only keep reading if you think you can lie to Drew's face next time you see him...

For several weeks now, Drew's emotional life has been on overdrive: there just isn't any more middle ground. It's either "the best day ever!" or equally as often, "the worstest day ever!" and sometimes both depending on whether David or I give in on something he wants. As of 9am this morning, Drew deemed today the worstest, and for once I found myself agreeing with him. It was raining, so we decided to ditch the stroller and take a cab to school, where I would presumably waltz in, say hello, drop Drew in the loving arms of his favorite blonde teacher, and then be off to work. Maybe even be on time. A cab magically appeared at the end of our street like clockwork, but as soon as we got in, neither one of us could breathe due to the lethal combo of both stale and new cigarette smoke (thanks, driver) inside. This was all very ironic, due to the large NO SMOKING red circle/slash icon facing us in the backseat. This, together with seeing actual smoke swirl around us led Drew to stage-whisper to me "doesn't that mean no smoking?" at which point I decided to uphold Drew's nascent understanding of life rules and ask the driver to please put out his cigarette (he did, begrudgingly). I was considering an exit strategy as I cracked the windows in the backseat for us to get some oxygen, when the driver yelled at both of us in an unknown language using the words "broke" and "window" several times in sentences that we otherwise didn't understand. After a 2 minute jerking stop-start ride, I asked him to pull over one block from school so that we could detox. The fare came to $4.20. When I paid with a twenty and asked for $14 or $15 in change, whichever he had, he responded in unintelligible words that I took to mean he had no change. Still feeling largely positive about the day and pretty charitable, I offered to go into the school and see if I could get change from someone. As we were leaving the taxi, however, Drew took a deep breath of fresh air, choked, then threw up down his jacket. (Thus the exact moment when today became ranked "worstest".)

On a side note, we've been wondering if Drew could be Isadora Duncan or Louis XVI or some other beheaded person reincarnated. If any shirt touches Drew's neck at any point throughout the day, he grabs at it with both hands, makes coughing noises and acts like he's going to die. (While all the other kids are bundled up snugly in their cute turtlenecks and half-zip fleeces this winter, Drew is the one who is sporting the V-neck-down-to-mid-chest look which is so attractive on a child.) So in all honesty, the rancid taxi probably only set the stage for the awful moment when his collared shirt brushed against his adam's apple and set things in motion.

Anyway, we look up to see one of his classmates and her nanny on the sidewalk hurrying by us trying not to catch whatever bad smelling and explosive disease we might be harboring. Drew gets hugely embarassed, and then demands that I tell NO ONE about what just happened. (Well...) That's fine, but there wasn't much I could do for him with the few tissues in my pocket. Anyway, change was gotten, soap was applied, one embarrassed boy found his stiff upper lip, and life moved on. But what does the driver do as he passively watches all of this? Coolly takes out his Marlboros and lights up in front of us.